How To Break Free From Being The “Perfect Partner”.

Many people have, at some point in their lives, strove to be the “perfect” partner. Whether perfect means being “all good”, saying “yes”, or simply avoiding anything that could “rock the boat”. Typically someone who identifies with trying to be “perfect” or “all good” is really identifying with beliefs such as “I’m inadequate”, “I’m not allowed to make mistakes”, “I am worthless”, or “I am bad” . And so, their perfectionistic ways and attempts to be good all of the time are really defence mechanisms, developed in response to some sort of pain felt earlier in their lives. In fact, I know this inner dialogue and the feelings of shame, low self-worth, and associated anxiety all too well because, at one point in time, I too tried to be the “perfect partner”.