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Reading Between The Lines: What It Really Means When He Calls His Ex “Crazy”.
“There was no way me and my ex were going to work out, she was absolutely crazy. Actually, all of my exes were crazy.”
These days it seems a little too common to hear a guy label his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, or ex-lover as “crazy” but what does it really say about him, the dynamics of the relationship and his overall attitude towards women? I’m here to say the stereotype and labelling of women as “crazy” - ex or not - is overused, outdated and the biggest red flag a misogynist could ever wave in front of you. So, if you’re currently dating someone who is labelling their ex or women as “crazy”, it’s maybe the perfect time for you to read on, to pay attention and to ask yourself “What this might mean for their relationship with you?” if you were to continue dating them.
How To Break Free From Being The “Perfect Partner”.
Many people have, at some point in their lives, strove to be the “perfect” partner. Whether perfect means being “all good”, saying “yes”, or simply avoiding anything that could “rock the boat”. Typically someone who identifies with trying to be “perfect” or “all good” is really identifying with beliefs such as “I’m inadequate”, “I’m not allowed to make mistakes”, “I am worthless”, or “I am bad” . And so, their perfectionistic ways and attempts to be good all of the time are really defence mechanisms, developed in response to some sort of pain felt earlier in their lives. In fact, I know this inner dialogue and the feelings of shame, low self-worth, and associated anxiety all too well because, at one point in time, I too tried to be the “perfect partner”.
How Many Women Feel Like A Man’s Mother Instead of His Lover? Too Many.
Has your sexual desire or passion faded from your relationship? Have you suddenly started questioning if you should stay, or leave? Have you ever thought that it might be because your relationship has shifted from an adult-adult to an adult-child dynamic? Truth be told, you’re not alone if you answered ‘yes’ to any of these because I once said ‘yes’ too. Moreover, I see this type of dilemma in my line of work weekly and here’s what I have to say about this aspect of your relationship…
Want Your Relationship To Last? Then, Stop Criticising Your Partner.
Of all the things I’ve seen destroy a relationship, criticism is by far one of the most prominent enablers of a relationship breakdown. You see, when you criticise your partner what you’re really doing is rejecting your partner, and eroding away any positive feelings and connection. You’re simply saying to your partner “You are not enough” or “I don’t accept you as you are”. Now, most people don’t like to feel rejected or like they aren’t “good enough”, and they’ll do almost anything to escape those feelings. This is why you see toxic people-pleasers, defensiveness, perfectionism, and infidelities in some relationships. Sometimes, those problematic behaviours are in response to a partner that has become just a little too negative in their ways of relating.